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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Limericks!!

needless to say..

the limerick's callous and crude
its morals distressingly lewd;
it's not worth the reading
by persons of breeding -
it's designed for us vulgar and rude.

haha.. here we go!

some amateur players, most brave
a performance of Hamlet once gave
said a wag "now let's see"
if it's Bacon or he -
I mean Shakespeare - who's turned in his grave.

as a beauty,im not a star
there are many more handsome by far
but my face, i don't mind it,
for i am behind it,
it's the people in front get the jar.

there was an old man of Peru
who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
he woke in the night
in a terrible fright
and found it was perfectly true.

there was a tiresome young man in Bay Shore
when his fiancee cried, 'i adore
the beautiful sea!'
he replied, 'i agree
it's pretty. but what is it for?'

god it's killing me. ^^

there was an old spinster from Fife
who had never been kissed in her life;
along came a cat
and she said "i'll kiss that"
but the cat meowed, 'not on your life!'

^^

Monday, May 17, 2010

With a little bit of luck

The Lord above gave man an arm of iron
So he could do his job and never shirk.
The Lord above gave man an arm of iron-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck you'll never work!

The Lord above made liquor for temptation,
To see if man could turn away from sin.
The Lord above made liquor for temptation-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
When temptation comes you'll give right in!

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck you'll give right in.

Oh, you can walk the straight and narrow;
But with a little bit of luck You'll run amuck!
The gentle sex was made for man to marry,
To share his nest and see his food is cooked.
The gentle sex was made for man to marry-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
You can have it all and not get hooked.

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck you won't get hooked.
With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of bloomin' luck!

The Lord above made man to help is neighbor,
No matter where, on land, or sea, or foam.
The Lord above made man to help his neighbor-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
When he comes around you won't be 'ome!

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck, You won't be home.

They're always throwin' goodness at you;
But with a little bit of luck A man can duck!
Oh, it's a crime for man to go philandrin
And fill his wife's poor heart with grief and doubt.
Oh, it's a crime for man to go philanderin'-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
You can see the bloodhound don't find out!

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck she won't find out!
With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of bloomin' luck!

...

He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket.
The poorest bloke you'll ever hope to meet.
He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket-but
With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck,
He'll be movin' up to easy street.

With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of luck, He's movin' up.
With a little bit...with a little bit...
With a little bit of bloomin luck!

- this is so gonna put me in the middle of the tornado...hehe..-

-from the film "My Fair Lady"

Monday, May 10, 2010

Now this is a kicker

my last entry was about the thoughts of a friend of mine, and how he perceives the opposite sex. and recently, i found an article (sort of) about men's rules. hahaha. let's here their speech out. ^^

These are our rules!
Please note. These are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full MOON OR the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping


muehahaha.. i laughed out loud reading this. yeah, to an extent, some are facts. but at the other end of the rope, well... these can be considered as the battlecries... hahaha.. so ladies, what say you? ^^

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Girls,ladies and women

well, for most men, they see THEIR girls, ladies or women as these~..

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man (duh.... ^^)

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding

If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
If you don't you are half a man

If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics

If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring

If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable

hahaha..this came frm a male friend of mine... and i think you can guess why..^^

Saturday, May 8, 2010

New furniture!

hahaha...there goes my ringgit malaysia one thousand and sixty five. ^^

well.. since i'm living with my sis, she provides me a room so that i can stuff my stuff, etcetera etcetera. but... a room is still a room... need to fill it first - with woods and plastics..

we went to a showroom where they display and exhibit good furniture and things like that. cut it short, we went to five shops and warehouse but the items did not suit my criteria - i mean, money and liking. as my final effort for the day i persuaded my sis to check one last shop. hahaha... indeed, the last always the best.

i was soo hooked up with this black wood closet. semi-solid stuff. the body is made of solid wood, while the doors and drawers are plywoods. it has two big portions to hang clothes, and two wide drawers to store small-small stuff, and two sectors of storage, completing the Italian-look design. hahaha...

curse you, ah pek. you led me from one thing to another. and i ended up bargaining prices for four items...ngehahaha.

one 8-door closet, rm 4xx
japanese table, rm 1xx
3 colour box, rm 75
tempat sidai baju (metal), F.O.C
total up = rm 700

hahaha...but that's not the end of the story..

i sent my ford to a mechanic to throw out the bad parts and install the good, better parts. yeah, the engine's kinda problematic. leaking here and there...so.. i decided to put it in a workshop and get its things done right.

once she's out, off the workshop...same matter went with my money~..^^

3 pieces of timing oil seal, rm 48
somewhat cap frosket, rm 45
another item (can't read his writing on the bill..geez..too complex), rm 12
somewhat dis. o-ring, rm 10
engine oil, rm 55
oil filter, rm 6
another frosket, rm 30
4 pieces injecter seal, rm 64
labour charge, rm 100
total, rm 325..

muehahahaha.... additional rm 20, fueling her stomach up with good petrol. hence... i would say my rm 1,065 is worthy and handsomely used. for the better future, if i may? hehehe

oh God, where shall i find recovery~... hm...

Monday, May 3, 2010

Kisah di stesen keretapi Alor Setar

huk.. subuh2 lagi dah bangun. ok, memang biasa bangun subuh, tapi selalunya aku tido balek, tapi harini spesel sket. huhu.. aku kena gi anta kawan aku balek. 3 orang semuanaya. dua orang naik plane, lagi sorang naek ketapi. huhu

semuanya lancar, dari time aku sumbat2 barang dorang dalam keta aku, sampei la kitorang landing kat airport kepala batas...alhamdulillah... peginye 2 bijik keta ye... aku bawak AMD dengan Er. lyn bawak AF dgn EM. AF saje ikot je, yang baleknye AMD, Er dgn EM.

huk..sedey sangat... tapi aku tanak nanges depan dorang... time departure tu, salam2, peluk2, muah2... lyn nanges sgt..semua tengah sedeyh sebenarnye... tapi aku tau, AMD, Er, EM... dorang da nanges da malam tadi...so, takde la tunjuk sgt..ehe.. jgn nanges an..jgn nanges...

lepas anta EM dgn Er naek flight, aku pon bawak la AMD gi ke pekan Alor Setar... nak belikan dia tiket ketapi...balek ke johor. hahaha... baru nak beli beb! tup tap tup tap...kaunter bukak kol 10~ tanya2 makcik tu, AMD pon booking la satu tiket balek ke Gemas, ketapi ekspress (ekspress la sket dari jalan kaki....hehe) sinaran senandung semalam. wah meriah gituu.. hehe..

sedeyh2 sket lagi...then aku pon tinggalkan la AMD kt stesen tu..sebab tiketnye pukol 6.45 petang tu! hahaha... gile ah... mau berjambang tunggu tu. hehe.. AMD kata takpe, dia ok je.. as u wish my fren...^^

petang tu..dlm kul 3 lebeyh..tgh2 aku dok teringat kat AMD tu.. dia pon mesej~..

mesej 1 : ingatkan kantin kat stesen ketapi yg macam lokasi shooting jimi asmara ni membosankan.. who knows it can be interesting! baru lepas dengar laki india marah2 bini dia kat tepon sebab bini dia ingat dia ada pompuan len, which turns out to b true after all. n tengahari tadi aku baru hiburkan pakcik2 kat sini dengan menari beberapa jenis tarian melayu..

hahaha.... boleh plakkan! ^^ pehtu aku balas la ap yg patut... then AMD reply

mesej 2: tu la pasal. kat kantin tadi la, tepi stesen ni. sowang pakcik ni tanya aku baca apa, aku cakap r baca pasal tarian melayu. pastu dia tanya, baca je da pandai nari ke.. aku cakap r, kalu nak pandai kna blatih, pastu dia suruh nari sket.. aku kalu da start, reti plak nak berenti kan..dalam hp ni pon cukup lagu nak wat repertoire tarian melayu..

kikiki... mmg ko AMD ah! ^^... suke gile aku baca experience dia tuh. aku balas, then dia reply..

mesej 3: tau takpe. dowang tak expect pon, mmg dowang berbangga sbb - - begitu menghargai seni budaya kte.. yang penting, lepas tarian melayu, miming lagu lady marmalade ya!

muehahaha...serius! enjoy abihs! aku tny la, dpt minum free ke... huhu

mesej 4: takpon.. air pon kena bayar harga biasa..keji.. tak penah aku sebagai artis ni dilayan sbgini rupa.. tapi yg penting puas!

kikiki... meletop, u ols.. better!! hehe..

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Take a bow

it is up to your lexicon to interpret 'take a bow' in your own understanding. the spelling is the same; bow. but what makes it different is how you pronounce the word. i can't write phonetics symbols here but one way to say the word is... um.. you know 'cow'? yeah, just replace the 'c' with 'b' and pronounce it the same way you say the word to describe an animal which has four legs and can produce milk, especially in New Zealand.

another way to say it is...um... you do know the word 'bowl' right? well then, just cut the 'L' out and there you have it! just pronounce the word 'bowl' without making the 'l' sound.

oh crap... too much reading i perhaps. need new games.. hm..