Lapan 'G' yang Perempuan Benci kat Lelaki

assalamualaikum. hai! dah tengok Catching Fire?

sekarang cuti sekolah. cuti sekolah amatlah sinonim dengan kendurik kawen. memang musim ah. tahniah aku ucapkan kepada korang/kalian yang dah/nak kawen. moga korang berbahagia ye. ^^

korang pernah tengok kan, iklan Cadbury yang baru ni? bukan yang naik kereta sangkut dalam jem tu... ni yang ada mamat hensem ni pegi umah girlfriend dia la kot, buat social visit. pastu teros auntie pompuan tu tanya "do you have 5 C's?" haa... mende 5 C tu?

Cash . Car . Condominium . Club membership . satu lagi apa hah? conjunctivitis?  alaa... lupa... >.<

tapi tu la. hehehe. itu actually gambaran realiti kehidupan kini. kalo tadak bende2 tu... maka MUNGKIN kebahagiaan abadi tak dapat dikecapi. katanya~~~

tapi camne pulak kalo laki tu ada 8 G?? mende pulak G ni... haa! ni nak share dengan hangpa. lapan G yang pompuan cukup tak suka kalau ada kat laki, especially yang depa suka. huhu... let's roll!

hate hate hate!

1. Garang

ohoo... laki memang sifat dia tegas. garang pon perlu benornye, especially bila dah ada anak. tapi takde la all the time kot. nak2 plak yang garang tak bertempat. asik nak maaaaaaaki je kejenye. silap sikit pon nak marah2, tengking2 tinggi suara, flip table. macam dia sorang je betol. plak tu bila kena tegur lagi la tak boleh. mencarut naik angin segala. bleergghh.. dah la pompuan tu kaum yang lemah, dilemahkan lagi dengan garangnya lelaki. memang tak in laa~~

garang . ganas . gerun

2. Ganas

ni upgrade daripada garang. kalo garang takat2 verbal je. maki keji carut bagai. tapi ganas ni lagi dasat! siap naik kaki tangan!! haaa.... jenis lelaki ganas ni benornye ramai. bagos kalo buat bodyguard ke, bouncer ke pelindung kaum wanita. tapi kalo jadi suami? dipukul dihentaknya si isteri? adoii... sedeyh weh... elok2 bini dia lawa kulit halus mulus... lepas kawen dah lebam2 luka2 kena pukul si suami panas baran. huk.. mintak simpang la kiah ooii~

3. Gemennervoustar

gementar. nervous. nebes2. hahaha. heii pompuan cukup pantang laaa kalo laki yang patotnya steady dan penuh keyakinan diri jadi gementar tak kira hari. kan? spesis laki genetar ni biasanya appear to be tak boleh harap. dia sendiri rasa tak boleh buat apa pon. takot silap la, takot salah la, takot tak jadi la... adeh. nak mintak kawen lagi satu pon takot, tergagap gagap. sedangkan pompuan harapkan laki utk bantu buat keputusan. dah  lembik lutuit camtu... acaner? tak suke lah! :p

see? hahaha

4. Gabra

kalo filem Yasmin Ahmad, Gubra. luls. gabra ni stail panic tau. bukan panic at the disco... tapi panic yang ... kalut. clumsy. takleh rasional elok2. cepat cuak, tak tenang dan tak menenangkan. baru dengar berita pasal harga gula naik dah kalut beli gula segudang buat stok kat rumah. baru anak menangis tetiba lepas terjaga dari tidur... dah depression sebab tak tau nak buat apa. adeh.. rileks brader. pompuan tak suka laki kalut2 ni. tak seswaii~~


5. TAK Gentleman

sebagai seorang lelaki... bila ada dua permasalahan yang sama pemberatannya... namun dihadapi oleh dua jantina berbeza yakni lelaki dan wanita... maka afdallah kamu membantu si wanita itu terlebih dahulu. baru gentleman!! hahahaha. seriously, if your beloved girl/lady/woman sakit ke... carikkan la dia ubat. if she's in need of any favor, be at your best to help her! itu baru lelaki sejati dashing namanya~ ini... dah la taya kereta gadis tu pancit, bila dia call kau boleh cakap 'kenapa pancitkan taya? kan baru tukar haritu?? awak ni tak habis2 nak habiskan duit mak bapak awak. tu nanti kalau dah kawen, habeskan duit saya pulak lah!?' pulak... jangan tanya kenapa si gadis mohon clash lepas tu..

hah. simple guidance. hehe~

6. Gover

blend word. 'go over.' suka hati aku je buat perkataan kan. hahaha. over lah! pompuan tak suka laki yang over2 sangat nih. rimas! dah pemalu, elok dah. tapi pemalu sangat sampai bila sebut nama je teros merah padam muka lari masuk bilek hempas muka ke bantal... dah pendiam, elok gak, tak bercakap benda2 lagha. tapi pendiam sangat sampai bawak jumpak keluarga pon jenuh ditanya soalan sepatah haram pon dia tak jawab.. asik tunduuukk je tengok karpet yang baru pasang sebab nak bagi impression kat tetamu. macho memang A. tapi macho sangat sampai kontrol habes siap egoistik level 99 suruh basuh pinggan pon takmau... silap la~~ tolong ye lelaki. jangan over2 sangat. agama ajar bersederhana. ingat tu. ^^

7. Gatai (gatal), Gedik, Gelenyaa~~

haaaa... ni PALING pompuan tak suka kalau ada kat laki. gatai nyamuk gigit takpe, gatal kat luka yang baru nak baek pon takpe. tapi gatal nak merenyam dengan pompuan laen, gatal nak menggedik dengan laki laen.. eh.. gatai nak kawen lagi... memang turn off la kan. kat rumah jadi suami alim kemaen. kat luar jadi bujang me-ghe-la kemaen, siap ngorat2 student kolej/univ sambil ngaku tak kawen lagi! ada ke patut tunang dok kat sebelah dalam kereta on the way pegi dinner tapi bila crush dia call dia tanya ada kat mana n buat apa laki tu bleh jawab 

"i kat rumah ni, a'ah sorang je..."

pergh... dasar lelaki! kalo aku tunang dia tu aku pakai seatbelt ketat2 pastu tarik handbrake lelaju. pastu dump dia sambil hantar wasap "maaf, saya tak layak untuk awak, saya yakin awak boleh dapat somebody yang lebih baik dari saya untuk awak, thanks for the memories, saya doakan awak bahagia" pastu amik gambor dia the moment kena dump tu pastu amik gambor kereta dengan number plate skali pastu screenshot wasap tu pastu twitpic sket kat twitter sambil mensi mohon clash. baru dia taaauuu~~~

nampak tak permainan dia? haa...

8. Garbage

yeah. literally. sampah. dasar lelaki tak guna. pentipu. pembelit. pentamak. pensailang. pempukul. penjahat. penampar wanita. penjatuh maruah dan kehormatan. perosak. pelingkup. amik lah kau sume sifat mazmumah tu, lelaki oi. dasar taknak insaf. huh! *simbah asid kat kereta kesayangan laki tu*


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jadi! wahai lelaki. kalau ko tak mampu sediakan semua 6 C tu, takpe. tapi kalau boleh jangan laa ada kombinasi 8 G ni, ok? jadilah lelaki sejati yang disukai ramai macam Tom Hiddleston atau Liam Hemsworth. hewhewhew~~

[MUST READ] Dari Mata Seorang Perogol

hi everyone. this is a very good post that i got from HERE . you may click the link to be redirected to the original page where i found it. here i did some alteration (but the gist of the post is left untouched) . i really hope we can all learn something from this, and, save our beloved people and persons.

"THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog (share) this!
 
It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each and every girl in this world. THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…

Through a rapist’s eyes!

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:



1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women whom are using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

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POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists said they’d leave a woman alone if she yell or show that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

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FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” . After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

Add caption

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LOCK and LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) . 

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. 

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
 

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry. 

#reblogging (sharing) greatly helps

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share, if you care.

Hanya Sekepal Dua - Duapuluhsembilan

assalamualaikum!! salam sejahtera... salam perpaduan, salam sudah2lah bergadoh tu kak siti dan abang khairy... luls~

wheee!!

hai hai hai!! bertemu lagi kita dalam rancangaaaaaaannnn.... hang pasaipa lama sangat tak hapdet blog! bhahaha. ok ok. dah lapok laa cerita kenapa tak hapdet blog... wuwuu... tapi tu la modal aku nak buat mukadimah ni. acaner acaner... >.<

hehe..

serius. sumpah busy sampai satu tahap aku bukak page blogspot ni, page new post... tapi aku tenung je... idea tanak mencurah sebab dok serabut dengan keje hakiki. sambil2 tu tangan dok 'rait' buku budak, kertas ujian budak, isi markah dalam buku... pastu keje2 pengkeranian atas talian pulak... nak aku sebut satu2 ke? takyah kot... muak korang karang.. hihi. bior kami2 cekgu cekgi ni je laksanakan sedaya mampu kami ye. ^^

ho ho ho!! holiday dah oi!!!

ekceli kalu holiday mesti korang bayang cekgu cekgi ni bersenang lenang, lepak, jenjalan ngabehkan duit bla bla bla kan? haha... aku tak salahkan korang yang pikir centu. bukan sumorang tau semua benda. ^^ as for me, cuti ni penuh dengan aktiviti. first, paling dekat... training camp. softball. waktu cuti 2 minggu straight aku kena coaching budak2 sofbol aku nih. preparation for next year's tourney. lepas bola lisut, ada bengkel kesenian kebudayaan plak. seni tari. itu seminggu pulak. pastuh ada kursus pedagogy bahasa inggeris lak. pastuh ada tour trainers utk kid's athletics pastu ada seminar pengolah buku pastu ada... banyaknya~~

tapi banyak2 pon.. tak terlawan event jemputan kendurik kawen kengkawan la... huhu. setakat ni aku ada 28 jemputan kawen. bukan jemput aku untuk kawen, tapi jemputan untuk aku hadiri majlis perkahwinan dorang. haaaa.... 28 tu yang dah kompem event, dapat kad etc... yang still berahsia, tunggu timing bla bla bla ni tak kira lagi. still counting yo! wheeee!! happy for you guys, happy for everyone. tapi sedeyh... sebab mostly tarikh clash. bertembung, bertindan, berbanyak kenduri dalam tarikh sama... pastu lokasi pulak bukan la sebelah2 rumah je kan. seluruh malaysia punya jemputan. dari perlis sampai johor pusing naik sampai kelantan terbang plak ke sabah sarawak - semua ada jemputan. whoaa.... gerun kan? luls~

tapi tu la... kat sini bagi sape2 yang baca ni and ada jemput aku untuk ke kendurik korang nanti.... aku mintak maaaappp sangat2 awal2 andai kata aku tak dapat pegi ke majlis hari berbahagia korang. ye? sori sangat2. walo apa pon, insyaAllah aku coba sebaeknya untuk attend. itu iltizam aku. auuummm!!

anyway!

aku dah lama tak hapdet blog kan? huhu. kalo aku nak cerita pasal hal sekolah.. rasanya terlalu banyak kot nak karang kat sini. tapi ada cerita best!! tapi tanaklah... hahaha. aku tanak sembang panjang2 sini sebab tau korang kannye baca pon... nak baca dialog2 kat bawah ni je kan. hewhew~~ okeng! sila enjoice hasil cerdik pandai nakal anak2 aku kat sekolah ye! ni mungkin siri hanya sekepal dua yang terakhir untuk tahun 2013 ni. jumpak lagi taon depan oi, insyaAllah. buat rerakan cekgu dan bakal cekgu, selamat bercuti!! ^^

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budak : ticer, dalam banyak2 bas, bas apa yang selalu eksiden?

me      : bas ekspress!

budak : salah

me      : basikal?

budak : salah~

me      : sani ekspress?? aaa taktau. apa dia?

budak : terbabas

****

budak : cekgu, dalam banyak2 buah, buah apa yang semua orang suka

me      : buah... oren?

budak : salah

me      : buah strawberry?

budak : salah. bukan semua orang suka strawberry

me      : habis tu apa?

budak : buah hati~~

****

budak : ustaz, dalam banyak2 buah, buah apa kat badan manusia yang dekat atas, dan buah apa yang dekat bawah?

me      : err.... buah ... hati? jatuh hati?

budak : salah. jawapannya buah fikiran la paling atas. kan dekat atas kepala~

me      : (tarik nafas lega...) oh.. buah dekat bawah.. ?

budak : buah yang tengah makan lepas tu terjatuh

me      : ohh... (tensi... tapi still lega~)

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budak : cekgu, cekgu dah kawen ke belom?

me      : kenapa?

budak : hari tu saya tengok ada orang macam cekgu, dia kawen

me      : oh ye? kat mana?

budak : kat tv9 . isteri dia nama mawar. saya ingat cekgu sebab muka dia macam muka cekgu bila bosan

me      : ohoo... muka bosan saya macam tu~~

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me    : okay, let's sing a song. the Do Re Mi song! i'll start and you continue the lines. here goes!! doe, a deer...

kelas : a female deer

me    : ray (re)-

kelas : -hat!

me    : nuuuuuuuuu...

****

me    : let's try it one more time... doe, a deer...

kelas : a female deer~

me    : ray...

kelas : a drop of golden sun~

me    : me, a name...

kelas : ticer az han zaf fu an

me    : jangan rosakkan lagu boleh taaaaakkk...

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budak 1 : ticer, biar kami nyanyi, ticer pulak sambung

me         : oh. ok ok

budak 2 : kita nyanyi lagu barney, i love you tu

me         : wow! alright. jom! ready? you start. 1 ... 2 ... sing!

kelas      : i love you...

me         : ye ke?? aww~

kelas      : tiiceeeerrrr!!!

****

budak A : ustaz... taon ni saya kena sunat

me          : ha! alhamdulillah... bila?

budak B : saya pun, cekgu, sama dengan dia. cuti sekolah ni.

budak A : tapi saya takut...

me          : laa... nak takot apa... saket sikit je. nanti dah sunat boleh kawen! haa.. best kan?

budak A : itu yang saya takot tu ustaz... nanti kalau mak ayah saya paksa saya kawen macam mana... saya tak ready lagi...

budak B : eii... cakap pasal kawen! ada ke orang nak kat kau?

budak A : ada. **** , awek ko

budak B : eleh tak heran~

me          : eh hello, saya ni tunggul kayu ke camne kat sini, em..? 

budak B : cekgu minat kat **** jugak ke?

me          : -_____________-

*****

budak : ticer, nanti saya dapat adik baru!

me      : oh ye? congratulations~ bila tu?

budak : lepas tesco baru ni bukak

me      : heh?? kenapa? jangan cakap mak kamu cakap dia beli kamu kat tesco...

budak : taklah

me      : habes tu?

budak : kat jusco

****

budak : ticer, kakak saya kirim salam

me      : oh ye? kakak yang mana?

budak : yang dah habes belajar tu. haritu dia konvo

me      : oh... tahniah kat dia ye. sekarang ni dia buat apa?

budak : dia duduk rumah je. baru dapat result (upsr) semalam

me      : oh. . . . .

****

budak X : sir, 10 tolak 8 berapa?

me          : two

budak Y : salah. 10 tolak 8, lapan jatuh la. ahahaha

me          : ok. 81 tolak 4 berapa?

budak XY : *kira... kira... kira...* 77!!

me          : 82 tolak 4?

budak XY : 78!!

me          : pandai!! itu markah paper english kamu berdua sekarang.

budak XY : siirrr!!!!

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happy holidaying!!! ^^