Selamat Hari Abah

Hi Dad,


How are you doing? I bet you're having a good time there. Pretty sure they take a good care of you. You deserve your pleasant vacation, anyway. Right Dad? =)


Dad


Do you remember my childhood? Owh I do. Very well indeed! How could I forget the precious moments we had together. With mom around, we completed each other.


Remember how I used to be the naughty one? Haha. Yeah, you and mom were always comparing me with sis. But I never really listened, though. Hey, I'm the youngest child in the family - I'd got to do what the youngest should do - attention-seeking! LOL


Hey Dad! First thing I wanna tell ya today is that ... I'm keeping some lobsters as pets! Hahaha. Sounds ridiculous, eh? Nay... You were the one who taught me to be unique. *rolling eyeballs* xD Remember when I was 2 or 3... you bought me some colourful chicks to keep? That day we went to pasar pagi and we stumbled into an apek selling colourful little chicks. I wanted them so badly that I pulled  your pants and tugged to your leg - letting go not; not until the apek put 10 or so those cute anak ayam into the paper bag for me to hug all the way home. hehee... 

Those anak ayam warna warni... yeah they were my first pets. Thanks Dad.. =)


Growing alone wasn't fun, tho. And you knew that. I lost my interest in those red-blue-purple-green chicks when they grew up and changed their colour into white (I should have listened to you Dad.. Sigh. =p). So to keep me entertained, you bought me some rabbits! Aww.. how thoughtful. hihi. You know what.. I'd longed to keep a rabbit since I was 2. I'd never mentioned it to you - but mom. 


So when you brought home two white rabbits and a brown one... I could not express how happy and thankful I was.. so I just hugged you, thanked you, and fed the new friends. Haha. You knew I loved them too much - you built a house for them! Since that moment, I always have this in my mind - I wanna be a good carpenter; just like you Dad. But I know, I can never inherit your talent. Mind if I recall all the damaged goods I produced in attempts to be like you? hahaha




Dad


When I turned 3, you bought me a bicycle. A small one. Red in colour. First questions I asked you when I saw the bike - why does it have four wheels? Ain't a bicycle should have only two? And you laughed joyfully. You told me the big two wheels were meant for the bicycle. And the other two extras - "one is the present from your mom, the other one is the present from me - to safeguard you from falling off the bicycle."


You taught me how to ride a bicycle. I couldn't imagine myself cycling without those two extra wheels. Remember the first time you took off those wheels for me to learn cycling like normal people? Yup. How can I forget that - you sent me off the 'starting line', and the next thing I realized I was paddling hard in the parit. LOL! I failed you as a cyclist genuinely. =3 

You're such an idol to me, Dad. I used to enjoy listening to you and mom singing. You were the fan of ths Pop Yeh Yeh sorta music. Mom idolized those English songs. You influenced me to like songs of A. Ramli, Ahmad Jais, Katrina Dahari, S. Jibeng etc. Mom was like the trend setter for me to love traditional songs and bands - Melayu Deli, S.M Salim, those jogets, zapin, asli and inangs, Deep Purple, Aerosmith, The Carpenters, Abba and many more. Talk about culture. =p


But what I remember most about you and music; is you teaching me to sing P. Ramlee's songs. You had a great voice, Dad. I adore you. I tried to sing like you (and mom) ... but I think I just don't have that talent. hee... Oh! Talk about music - do you remember the first musical instrument you gave me? yeap! Harmonica.


I wonder how you discovered my liking and preferences, Dad. You yourself did not know how to play harmonica. Yet you bought me one, and I loved it! And the love for harmonica grows, up till now. Such a wonderful fortune-teller you were. =)




Dad..


Why am I writing all this?




I miss you Dad. I really really miss you..


I write all those happy moments I had with you... 'cause I'm trying to divert my sadness from showing. I don't want you to know that I miss you and mom so much that I can't even smile plainly without bursting into tears whenever your face crosses my mind.


I regret for myself were not a good son to you. Tell me Dad, how many times I told you I love you? No more than a full count of fingers on my both hands, I perhaps. You told me you love me... almost every morning before I cross the school gate. You told me I'm your pride and joy each time I fell sick - just to get me spirited up. You tried your best to cheer me up whenever I felt down and sorrow.


I caught a cold right now. Feverish, and it's getting worse. How I wish you and mom would sit next to me, and tell me it's all right and I'm gonna get well very soon - like the old days... How I long for you to press a wet towel onto my forehead to chill the heat. How I dream of tasting the chicken porridge of your recipe that you prepared only when kakak or me fell sick. 


As for much as I wish for, I know I could get none of those anymore.




Abah..


Somebody told me that you and mom are watching over me. I'm pleased to know that - though I shall be more pleased to see you two, meet you, talk to you...


If I could turn back time... I would stand in front of you, and hug you, and make you slap me in the face - for telling you too little too much, yet too many times - that I love you, and I miss you..




Sorry, Dad.. I could not continue writing.. I'll end up crying alone in this small room. =') Here's my favourite song, Dad ... for it tells you all the things that I really want to have, to do, now. Please, don't cry. Keep calm, and smile for me. Okay? ^^









Salam Isra' Mikraj, Abah! and Happy Father's Day, Mr Ramli bin Pilus. 




from your son,
Azhan